“SANS, WHERE ARE WE?”
“i uh, don’t know to be honest papyrus.”
“YOU DON’T KNOW? BUT SANS, YOU KNOW ALMOST EVERYTHING.”
“i do, just not this hence almost everything.”
“BUT WHAT WILL WE DO NOW?! ALL OF OUR FRIENDS, THEY MUST BE WORRIED SICK ABOUT US.”
“i don’t mean to be a spoilsport papyrus, but I think we should be more worried about our current situation rather than our friends.”
“WHHAAAATTT?! HOW COULD YOU SAY SUCH A THING BROTHER??!?!”
“i think it might have to do with the horned human holding us in a cage.”
“HMM, OH RIGHT I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT.”
“i don’t blame you, i mean we’ve been held for what a few minutes? they don’t even talk to us, they could at least-”
“SANS, DON’T YOU DARE FINISH THAT SEN-”
“’incage’ us with some friendly conversation”
“SANS!! LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID, THAT POOR HORNED HUMAN IS MASSAGING HER HEAD, WHO KNOWS WHAT EFFECT BAD PUNS COULD DO TO HUMANS.”
“alright, i’ll go easy on the puns. ‘snot like there’s anything here to make pun of.”
“I’M GOING TO IGNORE THAT IN FAVOUR OF ASKING THIS HUMAN TO LET US GO.
EXCUSE MISS HORNED HUMAN, WOULD YOU BE SO KIND AS TO RELEASE US?”
“No, and please stop talking.”
“HMMM, IT APPEARS THAT DID NOT WORK.”
“maybe try asking again, who knows maybe if you keep asking her she’ll say yes.”
“No, I won’t”
“EXCELLENT IDEA BROTHER, WHY IT’LL BE LIKE THAT TIME WITH UNDYNE.
VERY WELL, LET ME ADD MORE PIZZAZ INTO MY REQUEST. AHEM, MISS HORNED HUMAN I THE GREAT PAPYRUS ASK OF THEE TO RELEASE US FROM THIS CAGE.”
“DRATS, WELL THEN I SHALL TRY FLATTERING HER.
EXCUSE ME MISS HORNED HUMAN, I CANNOT HELP BUT FIND THAT YOU ARE A VERY NICE HORNED HUMAN. I THINK YOU MIGHT BECOME AND EVEN BETTER HORNED HUMAN IF YOU LET US GO.”
“Wasn’t really flattery, and still no.”
“CURSES, VERY WELL I SHALL TRY BEING SAD AND MOPEY.
SOB, SOB, OH WOE IS US TO BE TRAPPED IN THIS CAGE…
(SANS, YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO WOE WITH ME.)
“INDEED, OH WOE IS US TO EXPERIENCE BEING TRAPPED WITH THIS CAGE OF SADNESS AND DESPAIR. SOB, SOB, CRYYYYYYYYY”
“You are literally saying the words ‘sob’ and ‘cry’, and still no.”
“huh thought that would work, try being modest.”
“GOOD IDEA, FRISK TRIED THAT AND IT WORKED LIKE A CHARM AGAISNT ME.
AHEM, MISS HORNED HUMAN I ASK THAT YOU RELEASE US LOWLY SKELETONS SO WE MAY CONTINUE WITH OUR SMALL INSIGNIFICANT LIVES THAT ARE IN NO WAY AS IMPORTANT AS YOURS?”
“No, you could be ants for all I care and I would still have you under lockdown.”
“DRATS, IT APPEARS THAT MODESTY DOESN’T WORK.”
“welp, i’m out of ideas.”
“SANS YOU LAZYBONES, YOU ONLY CAME UP WITH ONE IDEA.”
“yeah, and that’s my limit.”
“HMPH FINE, YOU CAN NAP WHILE I PUT MY BRILLIANT HEAD TO WORK AND ASK THIS HORNED HUMAN FOR OUR FREEDOM.
EVEN IF IT TAKES THIS ENTIRE TRIP.”
“Oh Demon Lord help me.”
“And that made you break the cage and just sprint in some random direction?” The Lillim asked the succubus with a critical gaze.
“In my defence your majesty I wasn’t running in a random direction, I had a clear path set out for me. It just so happened that it could start from either left, right, up or down.”
“I see your point, but why did you also release them from their cage?” She questioned next.
“I wanted to vent my frustrations, but I could not do it onto the surroundings without giving away my location.”
“Then why did you not simply leave the cage and send a message for one of your sisters to carry back here while you vent your frustrations elsewhere?” Another question came from perfect lips.
“I was really frustrated your majesty.”
“I see…” The Lillim shook her head “Frankly I am very disappointed in this Laura. I expected you to keep your calm in this situation, especially one that involved these ‘male’ monsters that was reported.” She sighed and leaned back in her chair “Just imagine what we could have gotten if we have those monsters within our ranks.”
“Not much I’m afraid your majesty” Laura stated in a tired tone.
“Oh?” The Lillim raised a delicate eyebrow “Explain.”
The succubus shrugged “Not much to explain. The short one is so lazy I doubt he would even release a single ounce of demonic energy even if he tried his hardest. The other is so kind-hearted and innocent he would probably spare even the most devout Chief God heroes.”
“Oh” The Lillim’s shoulder sagged, before she rest her cheek on her fist “Shame, and here I thought we found something worthwhile.”
“Believe me your majesty” Laura’s eyes narrowed “I was as disappointed as you are right now. I just hope those idiots aren’t going to cause any problems in the future.
“GREETINGS HUMANS, I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS AND I WISH TO BE YOUR FRIEND.” With a cheerful smile the tall skeleton held out his gloved hand to the one leading the group of humans that stood before them.
“yeah, what my bro said. i’m sans.” The shorter skeleton shrugged while he gave his own grin.
Reluctantly the human reached out for the offered hand, as if expecting a trap from the monsters offering their hand.
When he grabbed the taller skeleton’s hand a sound reverberated in the air, the sound of air being released. All of which came from the conjoined hands of the skeleton and human.
The shorter skeleton held back his snickering at the dumbfounded looks on both his taller counterpart and the human shaking said counterpart’s hand. One of his fingers wipe an imaginary tear under his eyesocket “ah, the ol’ whoopee cushion in the glove trick, classic.”
“SANS!” The taller skeleton released his grip on the human’s hand, still rather surprised, and turned to the shorter skeleton “HOW COULD YOU HAVE DONE SUCH A THING? WE ARE TRYING TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH THE HUMANS. I MEAN WHAT WOULD FRISK SAY?” He chided with a frown.
“they’d probably laugh” The skeleton shrugged “i mean they did it when we first met, so i’m sure they wouldn’t think too bad of this.”
“What the fuck is going on?” The soldier whispered to himself at the scene.
“The skeletons in the middle of the square? Yeah they’re just there, kinda sorta popped out of nowhere and made this their home. It’s kinda nice to be honest, things have been pretty lively since they moved in.”
“S-so, the-they aren’t going to harm us?”
“Nah, neither of them would harm a fly. So you’re good, unless you happen to be allergic to puns or spaghetti that is.”
“Hehe, that’s kind of weird.”
“Tell me about it, the short one likes to make really bad puns of what he sees, the other make seems to be trying to make an eldritch abomination every time he cooks.”
“Ahh, but don’t worry these two would never hurt you on purpose.”
“…I shouldn’t say this, but if you’re not careful around the short one, well you’re gonna have a bad time.”
“W-what?! I thought you said they were harmless.”
“Yeah they are, I just have this feeling that something might happen and royally screw up everything.”
“And you wanna know the even scarier part?”
“I have a feeling that the tall one is even more dangerous that the short one.”
“ARE YOU READY HUMANS?” Papyrus asked as he lifted both of his hands up.
They looked between each other, before nodding “Yeah Papyrus, give us your best shot.” They raised their shields quickly.
“OF COURSE, NYEH!” With the rather simple war cry Papyrus threw his arms forward, and a tidal wave of bones flowed towards the soldiers.
Clanging rang out in the area as bones met with steel. Sure they may be magic bones, but they were bones nonetheless as such made rather irritating clanging noises every time they hit their shields. Which was a pretty large amount.
A few moments past and Papyrus retracted his hands. The bones stopped spawning, while the ones that already did clanged uselessly against the metal shields once their advantage of numbers were gone.
Both humans and skeleton were breathing rapidly. The former due to a sea of bones barrelling into them, the latter was because of his concentration to keep that many bones appearing.
“congrats bro, that lasted a minute and a half. that’s way longer than last time” Sans complimented from the side-lines.
“O-OF COURSE” Papyrus panted with a grin on his face “IF I AM TO JOIN THIS NEW ORDER GUARD, THAN I MUST BE ABLE TO PERFORM SUCH FEATS NO PROBLEM.” He straightened up and puffed out his chest “FOR I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS, SO SUCH A THING IS OF COURSE POSSIBLE.”
“heh” Sans jabbed his elbow at the kid sitting next to him “ain’t my brother cool?”
The child seemed nervous at having the shorter skeleton’s attention but smiled nonetheless “Yeah, I especially like his blue power. It was so cool!” He gushed out in the end.
“yeah that’s my brother,” Sans nodded at the taller skeleton, who was now sending bones at a much more controlled pace “coolest skeleton ever.” Sans grin turned sly as he turned back to the kid “you could say he’s chilled, to the bone.”
Both of them laughed at his joke, while ignoring the loud “SANS!!!” That came from the battlefield.
“I DID IT SANS!!” Papyrus leaped with joy as held out his next armour in front of him with a pleased smile. The next moment he hugged his against his current ‘battle body’ “I AM PART OF THE GUARDS.”
“good going bro” Sans smiled, both hands in the pockets of his hoodie as the two walked down the hall. “i always knew that you’d get in into the guards, surprised that it took you this long though.”
“WHY IS THAT BROTHER, IS IT BECAUSE I WAS SO AMAZING YOU WERE SHOCKED THAT IT TOOK THEM THIS LONG TO ACCEPT ME?” Papyrus boasted.
“nah,” Sans shrugged “i was surprised that it took you this long to join because you always seemed to keep your mind ‘Order’d.”
“SANS I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW YOU CAN MAKE A SENTENCE WITH YOUR BAD PUNS AND I WOULDN’T EVEN CARE.” The taller skeleton announced as he admired the metal sheen of the armour he was given.
“eh, worth a shot.” Sans shrugged again.
“Fuck, how the hell are we supposed to survive this?”
“C’mon, ya cant jus give up now.”
“Ugh, what’s the point?”
“ I don wanna hear that kinda talk frem ya, now git help’s coming.”
“They’re actually sending us help? Who in the name of the Chief God would help us?”
“Someone really kind, It seems.”
“Well, they better get her fucking quick or el-”
“Oh I plan for that darling, really I do.”
“Awgh, shit Gerry, Paul we got-”
“Our own problems.”
“Fuck all kinds of duck.”
“Get the fuck away from me you cow.”
“Oh my calling me cow, are you really that impressed with these?”
“Heh, not really I’ve seen better on dudes you know.”
“You really shouldn’t be so cheeky, especially with your position like this.”
“Heh, I thought you monsters were all kinky fucks. I’m sure this is probably another one of your damned fetis- AUUUGGGGHHHH!”
“Like I said, you shouldn’t be so cheeky.
Oh my, that sound you’re making is so delicious to my ears make it more.”
“Go fuck yo- GAAAHARGH!”
“BEGONE FOUL HORNED HUMAN, YOU SHALL NOT HARM MY FRIEND.”
“H-Hey, you’re that bone guy aren’tcha?”
“WHY YES INDEED, IT IS I THE GREAT PAPYRUS TO SAVE YOU ALL, SPEAKING OF WHICH.
FACE MY ATTACKS FLYING HUMANS!!”
“What att- Ow, ow, ow!”
“What is he hitting us with?!”
“Is tha- ow my nose.”
“YES INDEED, IT IS BONES. NYEHEHEHE YOU MUST BE AMAZED BY MY AMAZING AMAZINGNESS ARE YOU NOT? THEN HAVE MORE!”
“Ow! Okay this is pissing me of- Ofhm!”
“OH MY, I APOLOGIZE FOR HITTING YOU IN THE TEEH. YOU SHOULD PROBABLY CLOSE YOUR MOUTH DURING MY ATTACKS.”
“Is he giving us advice, while he’s f- ow. STOP THAT!”
“FORIVE ME FLYING HUMANS, I CANNOT STOP UNTIL YOU ARE ALL AT A RESPECTFUL DISTANCE FROM MY FRIENDS.”
“Augh! Forget this, we were promised easy husbands, not bone people- AUGH MY EYE!”
“I AM SORRY, I SNEEZED.”
“That’s IT, we’re leaving!”
“Huh, saved by a skeleton shootin’ bones. I probly should stop drinking b’fore going to work.”
“Thank you, Papyrus.”
“ANYTHING FOR FELLOW GUARDS.”
“How’s your eye?” A shy Doppelganger asked the Harpy.
“Still hurts like a birch” came the rather harsh reply, before she winced as he placed a cold packet around the injured eye.
“O-oh, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you angry” the Doppelganger muttered under her breath.
“Nah it’s fine, just pissed at how a person made of bones is on the human side” with her free wing she made a ‘what the hell’ gesture in the air “I mean skeletons are supposed to be on our side, then suddenly boom tall, awkward looking skeleton in a metal suit of armour appeared right out of nowhere and then bones.” The harpy grumbled out more words as she pressed the packet stronger against her face.
“Umm, you know I heard that mistress Laura was supposed to have sent two weird looking skeletons here, but she um abandoned the mission” the Doppelganger muttered shyly.
“I’m not gonna ask you how you know that, but what I do wanna know is what was going on that brain of hers to just let two skeletons go, argh it was probably the one that stuck his bone in my eye” the Harpy groaned.
“I’m worried though” the Doppelganger said slowly.
“What, about mistress Laura?” The Harpy asked.
“No” the Doppelganger shook her head “About the city, it’s taking too long for the usual routine and we are losing too many sisters.”
“I know what you mean” the Harpy mumbled out sadly.
“I think they might have to take this one more seriously, I don’t like it when they take things seriously” The Doppelganger lowered her head demurely.
“Might be the only way though” the Harpy stated.
“Maybe” the Doppelganger nodded sadly.
“heya” Sans greeted the Baphomet standing a mere five feet in front of him. The distance increase when the childlike monster quickly backed away from him, prompting a shrug from the skeleton “sorry, i forget you guys aren’t used to sudden teleportation.”
A moment later a scythe, one larger that the size of the small monster, appeared in the paws of the Baphomet. The weapon was pointed towards the skeleton while it’s wielder had a fierce pout glare on her face. “Who are you?” She demanded.
“me?” Sans pointed to himself “my name’s sans, sans the skeleton. what’s your name?”
“None of your business” she answered coldly.
“yikes, that one heck of a glare you got there kid” Sans commented. “someone as young as you shouldn’t be glaring like that, you’ll get wrinkles and soon you’re gonna have to take a” Sans winked his right eye “Bath-omet just to calm down.”
She groaned, ‘great, one of these guys.” She lamented in her head. Rolling her eyes she walked past the stupid comedian and heading to her destination.
She stepped past the last of the trees and found herself staring at the walls of a city. She gave herself a moment to examine it from afar.
“pretty nice looking place ain’t it?” The voice coming from in front of her nearly made her jump out of her skin. She whirled towards the source of the voice with his scythe and found the same skeleton leaning on a nearby rock. Which was in front of her.
“How did you get here so fast?” She asked, worried that this skeleton might be more than meets the eye.
A lazy grin was directed her way “i took a shortcut.” A bony hand pointed towards a vague direction behind her.
Tempted as she was to look at the direction of where the finger was pointing she kept her gaze on the skeleton.
“what, do i got something on my face?” Sans used the hand that was pointing towards the forest to wipe his face.
“Who are you?” She asked again, this time her voice a touch more serious.
Sans lowered his hand and got off from the rock, he sighed and closed his eyes. With small steps he approached the Baphomet until he was standing in front of her.
For a moment she wondered what he was going to do.
Then he spoke “I K n o w w h a t y o u ‘ r e p l a n n i n g, s o f o r y o u ‘ r e s a k e s t o p .”
All the while he stared at her with empty eyesockets.
Startled she took a step back, her eyes blinked.
And Sans was gone.
A feeling of dread washed over her, she looked at the city in the distance and turned back. “N-next time” she muttered to herself. A purple portal opened at her silent command and she stepped through it, the portal disappearing as soon as she entered.
“SANS, YOU HAVE THAT LOOK IN YOUR EYE.”
“what look papy?”
“SANS, IS SOMETHING BOTHERING YOU?
“what of course not, why would I b-”
“SANS, YOUR EYE IS GLOWING BLUE.”
“BROTHER, TELL ME WHAT IS WRONG?”
“time of peace is running short papyrus.”
“i guess being a guard probably alerts you of all kinds of danger now huh?”
“YES, IT DOES.”
“so do you like it?”
“being a guard, it’s what you always dreamed of right?”
“OH THAT. WELL TO BE HONEST IT’S PRETTY GREAT. I MEAN OF COURSE IT CAN BE RATHER EXHAUSTING RUNNING THROUGH AND FRO HELPING THOSE POOR HUMANS, BUT THE FEELING I GET OF PEOPLE SMILING AT ME AS I CARRY YET ANOTHER HUMAN TO SAFETY IS WORTH THE EFFORT.”
“undyne would have been happy.”
“…Yes, she would have been.”
“…BROTHER, WHAT HAPPENS NOW?”
“best case scenario? we get through this alive and live our happy lives. second best? We see frisk, toriel, asgore, alphys, maybe even grillby again.”
“…AND THE WORST?”
“we become like undyne and get killed by our friends because it’s the only way to make sure they stay safe.”
“‘sob’ I miss everyone.”
“ ‘sigh’ me too papyrus, me too.”
Sweet smelling fire made of monster magic.
He hated the smell like a burning passion.
Heh, he needed to remember to tell Sans that. He would’ve loved it.
He looked around, the city looking vastly different. Both because it was engulfed in flames, and because of his own glowing eye that shone a bright orange in his right eye socket.
Papyrus breathed in, and breathed out.
A wall of bones stood behind him, guarding the building that housed the last remaining humans of this city. The last remaining survivors. The last remaining chance of victory. The last remainder of his friends.
He saw the ones responsible for the chaos charging towards him.
With a remorseful sigh he held out his bony arms and gave one final laugh.
“NYEH HEH heh.”
Sans’s eyes focused on the orange scarf that hung on the blade of the scythe. A flash of emotions ran through him, many of them he had experience countless times before.
Back in Underground where time seemed to repeat and take away all their progress in their pursuit of happiness.
That wasn’t why he was sad though.
The sight of the orange scarf, not hanging around the neck of its owner was what made him feel these things again. He remembered how many times he would see his brother meet his end at the hands of the human.
He was glad that Frisk did not take the same path, and in the end they got their happy endings.
Most of them anyway.
He sighed, remembering how he stood by a dying old Frisk at their bedside. He remembered the smile they had before they stopped moving.
He half expected everything to reset back into Underground, but it didn’t came.
The funeral for her was large, every monster she had met and saved attended. That was the only time he had seen Papyrus cry.
That was the only time he remembered that he could cry.
They continued with their lives on the surface, though one by one they met their end by the hands of time. Slowly friends began die, until only him, Papyrus and Undyne were left.
The life she spent with Alphys was a lovely one. Sadly she did not have the means to live as long as her, and Undyne watched her die.
Then as if to add insult to injury, the new Monster Lord took power.
Undyne changed within the span of a second. Her thoughts of Frisk and the lessons of love of humanity from Frisk and Alphys were gone from her mind. Gone was Undyne former captain of the Royal Guard, and in her place was Undyne the Water Enchantress.
It took the combined efforts of both him and Papyrus to finish her off, not because of how strong she was. But because neither of them could attack long enough without breaking into tears at her state.
After her body was destroyed the Determination that kept her alive for so long tried to bring her back. The power that made humans so powerful refused to bring a monster back and Undyne died as a puddle of goo.
Afterwards it was just him and Papyrus.
And now it seems it was just him now.
It felt familiar to him somehow, standing in the hallway guarding the last hope of something while everything burned outside. It felt familiar, but it was never comforting.
“heya” he greeted the childlike monster when she noticed his presence.
She tensed, her grip on the shaft of her weapon growing so tight her fingers turned white.
“it seems you ignored my warning huh?” Sans ignored her reaction to his presence as he channelled every emotion he had not to fly into a rage and destroy everything within the area. So he did something he usually did, he shrugged “though, what can i expect from a kid. am i right?”
The Baphomet said nothing, standing her ground as she examined the skeleton.
Sans let his shoulders sag, for once the weight of being a skeleton seemed to finally land on him “why’d you do it?” He asked as he focused on the scarf.
The Baphomet seemed to think for a while, maybe hoping to come up with an answer that wouldn’t earn his ire. She inhaled fearfully “He died like a brave warrior.”
“i know he’s brave, he’s my brother” Sans rolled his eyes, annoyed at how this Baphomet was trying to get on his good side. “what i want to know, is why you killed my brother?” He asked more specifically this time.
The Baphomet was silent, before she sighed and levelled a cold glare in his direction “Because he was in the way.”
“heh heh heh heh heh…” The dark chuckled shook her to the core “i see, so i guess that makes you a, what?” Sans questioned, his eyes still closed.
“A person that follows orders” she answered.
“wrong” Sans shook his head, he lifted his head and revealed an empty right eye socket and a brilliant glowing blue eye in the other.
“T h a t m a k e s y o u a d i r t y b r o t h e r k i l l e r.”
“Hmm, who’s that?”
“Oh my, is that who I think it is?”
“Well look who finally showed up, took you guys long enough.”
“Y-yeah, we were getting worried about you two.”
“yeah sorry fellas, we kinda hit a pretty large road bump on the way here. had to change a tyre before we could get back on the road.”
“BUT THAT DOESN’T MATTER, WHAT MATTERS NOW IS THAT WE’RE TOGETHER!”
“(The sight of all your friends finally back together fills you with DETERMINATION)”