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Original Scenario made by Mad Larry

You and your buddy are exploring ruins when you notice a treasure chest. When you get close enough a Mimic pops out. She seems a little confused as she looks at you then your friend. You have a feeling she's gonna grab you since you are closer than your friend.

What will you do?

Response:

I casually push my friend forwards. He calls me a bastard as she leaps out and tackles him to the ground, immobilizing him with powerful spells. As she rapes him I casually walk over to the chest, grab it, and chuck it out of a nearby window. I then turn around and drag the startled mimic off of my friend. As I tie her up my friend glares at me. I just raise an eyelid. "You had that coming after you locked me in that room with the pharaoh. If she hadn't already had a husband then I -"

"Why are you stopping her?"

". . . I beg your pardon?"

"Release her!"

Oh. He WANTS to be raped by her. Well, I didn't see that coming. "Wait, then why did you call me a bastard?"

"Because you ARE a bastard."

Point. I shrug before I untie her, and the two of them begin having sex right in front of me. I leave the room a lonely man - only to get pinned down by a gargoyle that flies in through the nearby window.

I am no longer lonely.