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A/N: "I'm alive!" *Ahem* Sorry for the long wait, everyone. I've been swamped with a heap of writers' block and currently I'm also on spring break, which makes it very difficult for me to focus on this stuff. That doesn't mean I've forgotten about you guys, so here is the Dullahan story of the One-Shot Collection! This story in particular has a small hidden romance component in it, but it leaves quite a bit to speculation. In the next few days, I'll be on vacation without wi-fi (possibly), so the next few one-shots may or may not be up. This, however, will give me the chance to really get down to it and possibly finish the next 4-5 stories in this collection, so there'll be a lot to look forward to! Feel free to favorite, follow, comment, all that good stuff. Ready? Let's go!

---ThingsEscalateQuickly---

“You asshole, I'll kill you!”

“Bring it on then!”

I had been arguing with this guy for at least 20 minutes now, and I've had enough. I rear my fist back and let loose a wildly powerful punch at the jerk's face. It almost hits, but he veers to the side at the last moment, causing me to hit someone else instead; that someone happens to be a silver-haired girl in armor.

-Thunk-

I look down in absolute terror as I see her head slowly fall from her body as both collapse on the ground. My associate doesn't notice at first until he sees my face and looks on the ground behind him. He runs away instantly, leaving me with this apparent murder I had just committed. I shout at him to come back, but his back is already far off in the distance as I continue to shout. I gulp audibly, thinking of how to go about the next few precious moments I have before I am hauled off by the guards. I look around to the passersby near me. They all have expressions of...normality and slight aimlessness? Why is no one scared or at the least disturbed at what they just witnessed? I practically killed someone in the middle of the town square with my fists! I understand that the roving monster girls around the world may be somewhat desensitizing, but-

“What the hell?” is all I can say as I turn around to the body, which now seemed to be in a kneeling position, its head calmly set on the ground next to it.

---WellThatJustHappened---

I have no time to process this as the next moment is filled with her body viciously lunging at me, eventually pinning me to the ground in a tight hug. I struggle intensely to break free from her grasp, but only manage to keep her at arms' reach as I try to regain my bearings. Her body keeps flailing its arms wildly towards me to get a decent grip, but I shove her back each time she touches me. All of the other townspeople seem to have deserted the area and left me alone to deal with this girl (and her body).

“Stop that! Don't cling to me! And keep your hands off my pants!” I shout at her in an attempt to stall its movements while I search for a way out of this.

My eyes turn back to her head still on the ground looking oddly content with its view of my miserable state. I wonder why she doesn't do anything about her body, but then a plan is set in my thoughts. Gathering all of my strength in a desperate rush, I roll the girl's body off to the side to give me just enough time to cross the few feet needed to pick up the head. As soon as I get it though, the body tackles me to the ground once again and this time it immediately rips my shirt off. Before it fully takes off my pants, I slam the head of the girl back onto her body. Her hands instantly stop moving and she seems to recoil away from me as her face adopts an condemning glare.

---NowIAmTheBadGuy?---

I take a few deep breaths, relieved that the whole incident is over and I could finally go back home. At least, that is until the feeling of cold steel touches my neck. I look at the lady knight who is now standing with a sword drawn towards my fallen form: she stares back with a soul-rending fury. Slowly I lift myself off the ground, never taking my eyes off her as I watch those cold red orbs of hers burn into my memory. I say nothing out of fear, but then I realize the ridiculousness of this whole situation.

“What are you?” I ask her. She's obviously a monster, but I haven't seen many whose heads can come off.

“I am a Dullahan, one of the elite guards of the Demon Lord. You are in no place to address me so casually, human.” She speaks in a harsh tone, sneering at me all the while.

“Excuse me? You're the one who decided to be 'extremely casual' with your body. Which is it, do you want to kiss me or kill me?” Just because my life is in danger doesn't mean I can't call her out.

“You obviously have never dealt with the Dullahan. Our bodies and heads have different personalities. I was no more displeased with my body's actions than you were.”

“Liar. The look on your face told me you were enjoying the view. You even had a smile like this.” As I imitate the lustful smile she wore, her sword lowers to my chest.

“...” She meekly looks at the ground in submission.

“Nothing to say, huh? You know what you did, so please just let me go home.” Night is falling rather quickly on us, but I can wait a little longer.

“You are a strange man. How is it possible for you to laugh at one who could end your life?” I barely catch her words, but it's clear she's saddened somehow.

“I've danced with death on more occasions than I can remember. Your threat to me is no more dangerous than the most unlikely of accidents.” It's true that my work has me picking fights more often than it is healthy, but I do what I can to help my friends.

“Allow me to observe you then. The possibility that you can resist death is...interesting. It may be even more so to actually bear witness to it.” She looks up at me with renewed purpose in her eyes.

“Don't you have your duties to the Demon Lord?” I hastily ask, not wanting to take her home with me.

“My duties are to protect the Demon Lord's interests, and this is one of them.”

---QuiteTheProblemThere---

A/N: "Demon Lord's interests", eh? That's what I'd call a load of bull dust, especially since that poor fellow almost did the deed with her headless body. *Shudders* I don't have anything against Dullahan, really! It's just um...wait, why do I have to explain myself to you when you can tell from the chapter?! Anyways, like I said before, the next few one-shots won't make it on time, so I'll probably post them up all at the same time. For the next one-shots, we'll be taking a trip to Yamatai/Zipangu/Japan along with a pair of mages where they will encounter a Red Oni and Blue Oni in that order. Ever wonder how much a Red Oni drinks? Next chapter will surely tell you.