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You look up at the gargantuan apartment complex standing before you, trying to work up the courage to go inside. You needed to go in and tell Xenia, your older sister, about your change of plans involving your living arrangements when you enter university next fall. Brendan, a friend of yours, asked if you wanted to share an apartment instead of staying with your sister. Since it was considerably closer to the university, and money wasn’t an object, you agreed. But now you have to tell Xenia. To say that she was looking forward to you moving in with her would be an understatement, and you weren’t sure how she was going to take the news. You take a deep breath and walk inside.

The first thing you notice when you enter the building is the Egyptian themed décor. The hieroglyphics the sandy brown walls and sandstone pillars make the lobby feel like an ancient Egyptian temple. The desert plants bring a bit more color to the room, but it’s still predominantly brown. Behind the security desk, you spot a large mural of a hieroglyphic echidna in the middle of a pyramid and recognize the figure to be Xenia. You almost chuckle to yourself. Who’s ever heard of an echidna with an interest in ancient Egypt, but you guess that there’s a first for everything.

You walk past the security desk with its dormouse guard and approach the mural of your sister. You look it over carefully until you find a hidden switch located at where Xenia’s crotch would be. You quickly glance around the lobby to make sure you’re alone, excluding the sleeping guard, before pushing the switch. You hear some noise from behind the mural, which opens up to reveal a large and luxurious elevator. You try not to dwell on the fact that you pushed a button on your sister’s crotch to get inside her as you enter the elevator. You push the “up” button and watch as the door close before you. You feel the elevator begin to move and begin to wait patiently while listening to the calming elevator music. You swear it sounds like your sister Abha playing her dotar. Perhaps you’ll ask her about it later?

Eventually the elevator comes to a stop and you disembark and find yourself in what seems to be an entertainment room. Like the lobby, it is full of Egyptian paraphernalia. However it feels more welcoming and less aloof than the lobby. You take a quick glance around the room, making note of the sofa and TV, before spotting a hallway. You enter the hallway and see that one side has a long row of windows that grant you a good view of the city below. The other side is covered with family photos in golden frames. You look at the photos as you walk by, remembering the moments immortalized on the wall. You see photos of your parents and elder sisters, Abha the gandharva, Hiroko the gyoubu danuki, the lich twins Eir the old and powerful and Verdandi the dark lord of all, Bridgit the nightmare, Koralia the nereid, Ahinoam the imp, Olympia the Scylla and Mayu the kejourou. As you reach the end of the hall, you wonder where the photos of you are. Your question is answered as you turn the corner and enter another room.

The room is very simple with a large bean bag chair as the only piece of furniture in the center of the room. What catches your attention however is the fact that all four walls of the windowless room are covered in photos of you. Most seem to be innocuous, but you can see an uncomfortable amount of you naked, sleeping or masturbating. Some seem to been taken recently as well, which only troubles you further. Part of you wishes that Xenia would put more effort in hiding this… room, but she’s always been open about her likes and dislikes. Maybe a little too open…

You manage to spot another elevator at the other side of the room. You approach the elevator and press the button located underneath a photo of Xenia hugging you when you were six. You smile and focus on it until the elevator doors open and you walk inside. When you exit the elevator again, you find yourself in a long narrow hallway with a single door and stairs at the opposite end. You assume that the stair lead down to the labyrinth portion of the apartment building and opt instead to approach the door and give it a knock.

You hear a muffled “Coming!” and a shuffling sound from behind the door before it opens to reveal your eldest sister. She doesn’t look much different from the last time you saw her. Her skin was still blue and her eyes were the same piercing yellow they’ve always been. Her hair, was still green like her serpentine half, was longer than before and in a ponytail. Finally you notice that her generous bust was being contained by an unflattering, but comfortable looking, beige bra that you didn’t realize she wore. Realizing that it’s you, Xenia shouts in surprise and slams the door in your face. You hear more shuffling and some muffled curses before Xenia reopens the door and poses seductively against the door frame. Her hair now flows over her shoulders and her beige bra has been replaced by a black, almost see-through lingerie designed to tempt. “Well, well, well. Look at who finally decided to visit,” she says with in a cool tone.

“Hey Xenia,” you reply. “I-it’s been a while, hasn’t it?” You barely have time to finish your sentence before Xenia loses all composure and pulls you into a bone breaking hug. With your face smooshed between her breasts, you feel her tail begin to coil around your legs.

“It has been a long time!” whines Xenia. “I’ve been so lonely without my little brother!”

“Didn’t the others visit?” you ask, your voice muffled by Xenia’s generous bosom. Honestly, you’re not even sure she can hear you. “And what about Guenievre?” Xenia ends her hug and gives you a bit of distance. She still has you in her coils, but you’re thankful that you can at least breathe.

“It’s a different kind of lonely little brother.”

“Is that why you have a room filled with nothing but pictures of me?”

“Yes,” she answers unabashedly. “Sometimes after a long day I go into that room to recharge my little brother levels. Though it’s not as effective as the real thing.” Using the tip of her tail, Xenia tussles your hair before caressing your cheek. She then carries you into her apartment. Like the previous rooms, Xenia has adorned her apartment with Egyptian knick knacks and doodads, although these are much more valuable. One piece that catches your eye is a framed picture of Xenia dressed as a pharaoh that you drew when you were five next to an Egyptian funerary mask that your mom got her when she graduated. You continue to look at the artifacts as Xenia brings you into the living room. When she gently places you on the sofa, you realize that something’s missing. Or, more accurately, someone.

“Hey Xenia, where’s Guenievre?” you ask.

“Oh I sent her home for today,” she answers as she places herself uncomfortably close to you on the sofa. “I wanted to do my own thing today. Why do you ask?” You flinch at the accusatorial tone of her question.

“J-just curious. She’s usually pretty adamant about keeping close and doing her maid thing.” You remember the year Guenievre came to be Xenia’s servant. The two were rarely far apart. Of course, it wasn’t hard for you to get the kikimora to drop everything and help you out, so you always thought she probably wanted to be your servant instead of your sister’s.

“I wouldn’t worry about it,” Xenia said dismissively, obviously trying to change the subject. “You’ll see her plenty when you move in.”

“Actually, we kind of need to talk about that,” you nervously proclaim.

“Oh? What is it?” You try to look your sister in the eye, but you feel like her piercing yellow eyes are staring at your soul, searching for secrets.

“W-well, I-I,” you try to answer your sister, but are interrupted as your stomach grumbles for food. Xenia breaks out into a fit of giggles.

“Sounds like you’d rather talk about food,” she teases.

“Can you blame me? Your short cut’s almost as long as your labyrinth.”

“Sorry, but that couldn’t be helped. Anyway, I’ve been cooking some pizza so we don’t have to wait long,” she says with a smirk. She doesn’t say anything for a little while, probably hoping for some praise. You don’t say anything, since you know that you’d probably find some boxes for frozen pizzas stashed away in the kitchen if you bothered to look. There’s a reason she needs a maid. You watch Xenia’s face go from smug to annoyed, then to confused, and finally to panicked. “I forgot about the pizza!!!” She leaps off the couch and makes a mad dash to her kitchen. After a moment, you hear her shout out a flurry of colorful curses and insults. You can’t say you’re terribly surprised. Getting off the couch, you walk in the direction Xenia went and soon find yourself in the dining room. Scanning the room, you find a large mahogany table that wouldn’t look out of place in a mansion, several chairs and a swinging door that you assume leads to the kitchen. As you approach the door, you hear voices coming from the other side. The first one is clearly Xenia’s and is giving thankful apologies, while the second voice, which you recognize but can’t place, politely consoles the first. You try to get closer to try to make out what’s being said, but Xenia comes through the door carrying two large pizzas and almost crashes into you.

“Uwaah!” you shout in surprise.

“Ae you okay?!”

“Yeah, you just startled me,” you assure. “Is everything ok?”

Relieved, Xenia answers, “Yes. It seems I caught it just in time! So what do you think? I know they’re your favorite!” She holds out the two pizzas and you quickly look them over. To your surprise, the both of them seem to be professionally made and well cooked. You breathe in and practically begin to drool from the smell alone. You also notice a burning smell coming from the kitchen, but you find it would be in your best interest not to bring it, or the second voice, up. Xenia places the two pizzas on the table along with the plates and cutlery she was carrying with her tail. She puts a couple slices onto one of the plates and hands it over to you before serving herself. You manage to finish eating your first slice before Xenia asks, “So what were you going to say? About staying with me?”

You don’t look her in the eyes, knowing that you’d lose all conviction if you met her gaze. You take a moment to gather your courage before you look her in the eye and say, “I’ll be moving into an apartment closer to the university with one of my friends!” You feel a swelling of pride at being able to stand up to your sister, which quickly deflates at the sudden chill in the room. Xenia is not happy. On the surface, she looks the same as always does, but you can sense the subtle differences. Her eyes, still brilliant and sharp, seem to have gained an accusatorial edge. Her smile twitches as if the act itself has become an unpleasant chore. Her body becomes tense, reminding you of a viper getting ready to strike. You feel like a level one adventurer who’s been teleported to the final boss’ bedroom before leaving his house.

“Oh?” is all Xenia says and the temperature in the room seems to drop another ten degrees. You fight the urge to grovel for forgiveness. As you come to the decision that you should probably run, Xenia wraps her coils around you, preventing all escape. “Who is it that convinced you to not stay with your beautiful, affectionate, rich, lonely elder sister and why?”

“J-just a friend,” you stutter. “And it’s going to help the both of us out! W-we’ll be splitting t-the rent and the p-place we’re looking at is a f-five minute walk from the u-university!” She brings you closer to her face and tightens her grip on you.

“Who?”

“B-Brendan…” you mutter.

“The pervert,” Xenia hisses in disgust, her false smile giving way to a grimace. You always knew Xenia didn’t like any of your friends since the more time you spent with them meant less time you could spend with her. However Brendan was a special case. For whatever reason, she loathed Brendan. She hated him more than most of your female and mamono friends, but you never really knew why. You asked them once, but they just got all embarrassed and avoided the question. “The panda isn’t involved in this, is she?”

“No. Just Brendan and I. Li has nothing to do with this!” Xenia turns away to ponder the situation. You sit in silence, still wrapped up in her tail, for what seems like an eternity. Eventually she turns to face you again with a serious look on her face.

“I’ll allow this to happen, but I have some conditions,” she says in a business like tone. You can’t help but breathe a sigh of relief.

“Sure. What do you want?” you ask as you pray her demands aren’t too extreme.

“First, I’d like to examine this apartment of yours. If I don’t find it up to snuff, you’re staying with me.”

“Alright, that sounds reasonable.”

“Second, if I allow you to stay at that apartment, we will need to meet up two… No, three times a week. At a minimum.”

“Ok…” You kind of saw that one coming.

“Third, no girls.” You quickly nod in agreement. You weren’t planning on having too many girls over in the first place, so nothing really lost there. “Finally, this whole you just staying here for the night isn’t going to slide. You’re staying with me the whole weekend. On top of that, we’ll be sharing the same bed and you’ll be my body pillow!” You were going to reject, but you could tell by the angry, slightly excited look on her face that refusing wasn’t an option.

“Fine,” you mutter. Using her tail, Xenia pulls you into another bone breaking and suffocating hug.

“I knew you’d accept my conditions!” she practically sings. “So let’s finish supper so we can watch a movie or something!” The rest of your evening together was rather uneventful. After you finish eating, Xenia brought you to her TV room to watch ‘Escape from the Lamia Village’. You on the other hand didn’t feel comfortable watching hard core pornography with your sister, and asked if you could watch ‘Night of the Troll’ instead. You both compromised and decided to watch ‘Winnie the Pooh’. At least you thought you compromised. Instead of the animated adventures of a honey loving teddy bear, you saw a gang rape involving a blonde grizzly in a too tight red t-shirt. Or was it even gang rape? Was it a gang rape if one woman raped a group of men at the same time? That’s going to keep you up tonight… After the movie, Xenia brought you up to her room and made good on her promise to use you as a body pillow. Was it really even rape? I mean, it’s not like she’d be able to keep them all there by herself unless they really wanted it…

The next day, after enjoying a bit of breakfast and taking the long trip out of her apartment, you and Xenia step out of the elevator and into the empty lobby. Xenia is dressed in a business suit and skirt combo with her hair done up in a professional looking ponytail. In comparison, you look very unprofessional. You walk and she slithers through the lobby in silence. Outside you find a kikimora standing next to a large limousine. As you approach, the kikimora recognizes you and breaks into a smile.

“Hello young master!” She greats you with her tail wagging. “I almost didn’t recognize you! It’s been so long!”

“Sure has Guenievre!” Her excitement seems to be rather infectious, as you begin smiling as well. “Although you don’t really look any different from when I last saw you.” True enough, she didn’t seem to have changed at all since you last saw her. She still wore the same conservative, black French maid uniform. Her black, shoulder length hair was still perfectly in place. She still wore those little pince-nez glasses that she thought were cute even though she didn’t need them. Her breasts were still small, although you didn’t know if they were actually small, hidden by her conservative attire, or your idea of ‘big’ and ‘small’ were skewed considering the sizes of most of the women you grew up with.

“Why thank you young master!” Guenievre says with a bow.

“Guenievre?” Xenia asked, slightly annoyed and standing in front of the limo.

“Yes Lady Xenia?”

“The door please.”

“Ah… Right away ma’am!” Guenievre quickly opens one of the limo’s back doors and Xenia slinks inside. Guenievre then looks at you and smiles, prompting you to follow your sister. Once inside, Guenievre closes the door and heads to the front of the limo to drive you both to your destination. You look at Xenia, only to find her pouting.

“Anything wrong Xenia?” you ask.

“No,” she responds in a tone that proved the contrary.

You quickly realize what’s bothering her and say, “You’re looking good today too sis.” She scoffs, but you see her pouty scowl turn into a faint smile. The trip itself is uneventful and you all soon find yourselves in front of the building you’re hoping to stay at. The three story building looks like it could have come straight out of Feudal era Zipangu and was surrounded by sakura cherry trees.

Xenia scoffs again and says, “That Zipangese style is so overdone.”

“Not everyone wants their home to look like a pharaoh’s tomb,” you retort.

“That’s still a point against it.” You sigh as Guinievre opens the door to let you out. You get out of the limo and spot Brendan siting on the hood of his white 1989 Honda Civic, which is parked nearby. Brendan was cursed with very feminine looks and face, which weren’t helped by his small stature and slim frame. He had chocolate brown hair, kept short in an effort to look masculine, and beautiful pale skin, which made him the desire, and envy, of most of the girls in high school. Today he was wearing a green and white stripes t-shirt with tight designer blue jeans.

“Hey Brendan!” you shout. Quickly spotting you, Brendan breaks into a smile.

“Wazzaaaap!”

“Wazzaaap!” you mimic. You both start laughing and Brendan gets off of his car hood and approaches you.

“Man, that limo’s pretty cool! But I got to dock you points for dressing up like a hobo!”

“Well we can’t all raid Tinkerbell’s closet, now can we?” you retort.

“Like hell. That bitch wishes she had as much style as I do!” he brags. You both break into another fit of laughter before he says, “It’s good to see you again man. How’s it going?”

“Pretty good so far,” you respond. “How about you?”

“Better,” he replies. Xenia approaches the two of you. “Oh hey Xenia…”

“… Pervert…”

“Don’t be like that girl. And why don’t you pop a button or two? I’m sure it’ll make the boys real happy!”

“Like you’d even care.”

“… That’s low Xenia…”

“Like the belly of a snake.” You sense that the two of them are about to get into a fight and you get between them.

“Hey you two! Can’t we all just get along for a little bit?” you plead. Xenia and Brendan look each other in the eye for a moment, then turn away and scoff. You sigh and lead them both inside the building. Once inside, you notice that the Zipangese theme continued with its interior. Brendan quickly finds the landlady’s office and knocks on the door. A gyoubu danuki with beautiful chestnut hair opens the door and looks at the three of you.

“Can I help you?” she asks tentatively.

“Hi, I’m Brendan. We talked about renting about an apartment the other day.”

“Oh yes! Now I remember!” She looks you over carefully. “And who might you be?”

“I’m-“

“He’s my little brother,” Xenia interrupts your introduction with a threatening tone. You have a feeling that she may have deducted points for the landlady being a mamono.

“I-I see…” the danuki says, taking Xenia’s warning to heart. The danuki closes her eyes and bows. “My name is Kimura Amarante. It is a pleasure to meet you all.” She straightens herself up and says, “Please follow me,” before leading you further into the building. She brings you all to a room on the third floor at the end of the hall. The room, compared to the rest of the building, was western styled as well as plain and empty. It seems like you’ll need to bring in your own furniture. “I do wish to apologize before we go any further. Due to a certain mix-up, none of the two bedroom apartments that you asked for are available.”

“Mix up?” you ask.

“One of my daughters,” Kimura explains with a huff. “Too busy flirting with our clients instead of paying attention to what she was supposed to be doing.” You can practically hear Xenia gloat as she undoubtedly takes more points off the apartment’s score. “We are willing to charge the price we quoted over the phone for this three bedroom apartment to make it up to you.

“Three bedrooms!” Brendan exclaims with a whistle. “That’s a pretty good deal. What do you say?”

“Well I’d like to take a look around first, but it sounds like a bargain so far,” you say. You look towards Xenia, who’s staring at Kimura. She’s likely trying to work out it the danuki’s trying to pull some sort of trick. Whatever the reason, Kimura doesn’t seem to be enjoying the attention.

“G-go ahead, look all you want!” With Kimura’s blessing, the three of you inspect the apartment. After a quick inspection finds nothing of concern, you head back to the main room. You plan on calling dibs on the larger room. “How did you find everything?” Kimura asks.

“It’s perfect! I can’t wait to move in!” Brendan exclaims excitedly. “By the way, I call dibs on the big room!”

“Dammit, I wanted the big room!” you complain.

“Well you know what they say. You snooze, you lose,” gloats the triumphant Brendan.

Kimura turns to Xenia and asks, “How did you find the room miss?”

Xenia responds with a mumbled, “It’s fine, I guess.” She’s clearly not pleased with the fact that she couldn’t find anything actually wrong with the room. “However, I do have a few questions I’d like to ask before I let my brother and his… friend rent from you.”

“Very well. Ask away miss,” Kimura says politely.

“Alright, I’m very concerned about security. What’s in place to keep… let’s say an ogre from breaking down the door or a large mouse stealing someone’s keys?”

“Excellent question miss!” Kimura exclaims with a smile. “Both the door and the keys are enchanted. The doors will repel any attempt to force them open, whether through brute force or magic. The enchantment can only be broken in the event of an emergency, such as a fire, for safety reasons. As for the keys, they will recognize the magical aura of the residents they are assigned to. If they spend too long away from the resident outside of the apartment, or are being used by anyone who it is not assigned to they will teleport to our office.”

“I see…” Xenia carefully examines Kimura before asking, “What about you and your daughters? How do I know you won’t let some lonely mamono into my brother’s apartment for some money? What if your daughters sneak in using a master key?”

“Xenia!” you shout, shocked that your sister could be so rude. It is a legitimate concern, but she could have been more tactful about it…

“It’s fine sir. We get asked that particular question quite often,” Kimura assures.

“And?” asked Xenia, her patience growing thin.

“I can assure you, neither will happen. It makes little business sense to sell access to our resident’s rooms,” Kimura explains. “If we did, word would soon spread about our shady business practises and people, particularly single men, would look elsewhere.”

“And your daughters?”

“My daughters are all gyoubu danuki like myself. As such they all know better than to go after men who haven’t horrifyingly indebted themselves to us. They may flirt, but they won’t even consider dating a man as long as he keeps up with his monthly rent.” Xenia grits her teeth and growls under her breath. Her eyes dart around the room in a desperate attempt to find any fault with it.

“T-the windows!” she blurts out after a moment. “I-I bet a harpy or a wyvern could crash right through them!”

“That would be rather difficult miss…” Kimura says. She’s starting to sound a little tired of your sister’s questions. You wonder how many people like Xenia she’s had to deal with. “They are made out of the strongest bulletproof glass money can buy and are in specially made, reinforced frames. They’d have an easier time cutting down a tree with a herring.” Brendan laughs at her joke, but you don’t get it. Is she trying to reference something?

“W-what about…”

“They are also enchanted,” Kimura interrupted. Anyone trying to use magic to force their way in will be in for an unwelcome surprise.”

“We’ll see about that!” Xenia says as turns to face one of the windows and aims her palm at it. Her hand begins to glow and crackle with electricity. You move to try and stop her, but you hear her yell “THORON!” and you know you’re too late. A blast of lightning bursts out of Xenia’s hand and collides with the window. The window then begins to glows and absorbs the lightning before shooting its own lightning back at Xenia. Too shocked to move, Xenia takes the full brunt of the window’s magical attack. Before she manages to fall to the floor, you and Brendan manage to catch her and ease her fall.

“Sis! Are you okay?” you ask as calmly as you can manage.

“Holy shit! That window sure showed you who’s boss!” Brendan shouts. You glare at him and he shrugs sheepishly.

“So miss, are you convinced?” asks the slightly worried Kimura. You help Xenia stand and notice that her hair’s gone all frizzy. It might have been funny if it weren’t for the fact that you were worried about her.

“Yes…” Xenia finally manages to cough out. She looks at you, her brilliant yellow eye now sad and forlorn. “You can stay here…”

“Thanks sis.”

“Excellent!” Kimura exclaims. She pulls out a couple of pens and a stack of papers from beneath her kimono, and hands a set to you and Brendan. “Sign these contracts and you’ll be official residents!”

“Sweet!” Brendan signs his copy right away, but you carefully look over the document. It’s not that you don’t trust Kimura, but you’ve already sold yourself into slavery to your own danuki sister enough times to know that you need to read before you sign anything. Convinced that everything’s on the up and up, you sign the contract before handing it back to Kimura.

“Thank you for your patronage,” Kimura says with a bow. “Now if you could please follow me back to my office. While you aren’t allowed to move in right away, we can get your keys ready.”

“Alright, let’s go!” You and Brendan begin to follow Kimura out of the room.

“Wait.” The three of you stop and turn to look at Xenia. “Kimura, I’d like to have a word with you alone. If you don’t mind.”

“Not at all,” the danuki politely replies. “You two can go on ahead. One of my daughters should be in the office to assist you.” Brendan shrugs and the both of you head to the office. After a younger danuki prepares your keys and makes lewd remarks about the size of your bank account, you wait a half hour before you see Xenia and Kimura coming down the hall. You can’t help but notice that Xenia is now sporting her usual smug smile, while Kimura looks like she’s trying hard not to drool.

“Finally!” Brendan whines. “What took you two so long?” Xenia’s smile quickly turns into a scowl.

“Nothing that concerns you pervert.” Xenia turns to face Kimura. “I’ll contact you later to work out the details.”

“Very well.” Kimura bows deeply. “It’s an honour doing business with you, Lady Xenia.”

“Lady Xenia?” you ask.

“Don’t worry about it,” Xenia assures as you all leave the premises.

A few months later, you find yourself looking up excitedly at what will be your home for the time being. You walk into the Zipangese building and head towards your apartment, you key in one hand and your suitcase in the other. You haven’t seen your apartment since you came here with Xenia, but Brendan said he got everything set up already. You felt bad for not being able to help out, but family issues kept you at home. You did say that you’d repay him for the furniture he needed to buy. You begin to smile as you stand in front of your door. You use your key to open the door and are treated to an odd sight. You haven’t seen the room in months and didn’t help Brendan pick out furniture, but you had an idea of the kind of stuff he’d get. What you didn’t expect was to find the walls painted sandy brown and covered with hieroglyphics, or find the room filled with ancient Egyptian paraphernalia. You hear some chattering and follow it to the kitchen area. There you find Xenia and Guenievre watching the oven.

“Aren’t they done yet? He’s going to be here any minute!”

“I’m sorry Lady Xenia, but it will take a few more minutes,” the kikimora stated. “Disposing of the couch took longer than expected, so I started cooking a little late.”

“Fine. I’ll go keep an eye out for him then. Call me when they’re done.” Xenia turns around and spots you. You open your mouth to say something, but she hugs you to her breast before you can manage a word. “You’re here! How’d you like what I did to the place?”

“What’s going on?” you manage to ask through the face full of sister boob.

“Lady Xenia and I came to inspect your apartment young master,” Guenievre explains with a polite bow. “Lady disliked the look of the place, so we took the liberty of redecorating.”

Xenia gives you some breathing room before adding, “It took us the better part of a couple of days, but I think it looks way better than before.”

“A vast improvement,” Guenievre confirms.

You look around the room as multitude of questions form in your head. Out of all these questions, you settle on, “How?”

“Well, I just got Kimura to make me a master key after I bought the place,” your sister explains.

“Well that sounds reasonable… Wait, what?”

“Yes, I bought this place a few months ago,” Xenia says, puffing up with pride. “I would have bought it sooner, But Kimura drives a hard bargain. Regardless, I am the new owner of the Happy Danuki apartment complex!” You are at a loss for words. You stand in silence until you hear Brendan at the door.

“I think you’ll like the place. I know it doesn’t look like much, but it’s… WHAT THE FUCK!” Brendan storms into the kitchen. “Dammit Xenia! What did you do?! What happened to all my furniture?!”

“I replaced it,” Xenia smugly explained smugly. “Honestly, you should be thanking me for getting rid of all that junk.”

“JUNK!” You quickly get in between Brendan and Xenia before they come to blows.

“Hey! Settle down you two!” you shout.

“Yeah, let’s calm down and speak with our words.” Everyone turns towards the new voice and see a ren xiongmao wearing a too tight tank top and a denim skirt casually walking into the room. “I’m sure we can work this out.”

“Li?” you ask.

“Yup, in the flesh,” she responds. Xenia pulls you close and coils around you protectively.

“What’s the panda doing here?” she asks. “You told me the panda wasn’t involved!”

“S-she wasn’t,” you assure. Truth be told, you were a little surprised yourself.

“You didn’t tell them Brendan?” Li asks.

“Must have slipped my mind,” Brendan answers, still glaring at Xenia.

“I see… Anyway, since you guys had an extra bedroom, Brendan asked me if I wanted to move in and help split the rent some more. And I was like, of course! So now I’m here!” An awkward silence fills the room while Brendan and Xenia continue to glare at each other. Li looks at both of them and sighs. “Geez, you two are acting just like children. Brendan!”

“Y-yes!”

“I know you’re mad at Xenia because she redecorated the apartment and got rid of all your furniture, but she only did it because she wants her brother to be happy. Besides, I’m sure she’ll pay you for all the stuff she got rid of. Right?” Everyone looks to Xenia, who doesn’t respond. “Right?” Li repeats.

“Sure…” Xenia says eventually.

“Good. Now Xenia, I know you’re mad at Brendan for getting me to stay here, but is it really so bad?”

“You tried to give my brother a wake up BJ during a slumber party when you were twelve!” You can feel Xenia squeezing you even tighter as she remembers the incident. She really didn’t like that.

“Ok, I did do that one, but have I done anything since?” asks Li.

“Not that I’m aware of…” Xenia grumbles.

“See, and I’ll be too busy with the local sports teams to try to seduce your brother!” Xenia scans Li’s face for any hint of dishonesty, but eventually lets you go.

“Fine, but I will be keeping an eye on all three of you,” she threatens. You walk up to Li and pat her shoulder.

“Thanks Li.”

“No problemo! I’m just happy I could help sort this out!”

“By the way, I didn’t know you were into sports.”

“I’m not really into sports. Sport stars on the other hand…” Li begins to drool as she gets caught up in her perversions.



“If I may interrupt?” Guenievre timidly interrupts. “Dinner is ready!” Everyone helps set the table, and then sits to enjoy their first meal in the apartment. You just hope that the rest of your stay here won’t be nearly as exciting.