Simple: if the city has such a problem with me being single, considering it a detriment to the society, then I doubt there'll be any fuss if I just pack my stuff and leave town. To leave the building, I present my solution. The city won't have to worry about an unmarried man walking among them, and I don't have to worry about anything like this happening again.
Peace out, you bat-shit insane city. You do you, I'll be outta here ASAP, and I won't be visiting for the holidays, nor will I write or send an e-mail.